The Days After
by MsSully
Summary: This is a continuation of "The Devil You Know." I don't own the characters...wish I did. Be patient with me...I am having trouble navigating the chapters system and the downloading is off for some reason.


Chapter 1

I was stunned. I'm not sure why I should have been stunned, but I was. He had made a commitment to stand by us and then when it came right down to it, he left again.

Right after Michael took off, Sam made the call to the Feds. Then, we took off. We really had no choice. We knew if the Feds were all over Michael, they would be all over us. Our proverbial fingerprints were everywhere on this job. We were on surveillance tapes at the hotels and at the government building, everywhere. Michael's heat would be on us too. The difference between Sam and me was simple: I just didn't care about it. I had been the part of enough manhunts to know that it was just one more.

For a while, Sam didn't say much. He knew I just didn't want to hear it. We became masters of small talk. Questions about locations, where to eat, and comments about the weather filled the silence that stretched across the front seat of my stolen Hyundai. Finally, Sam began to talk. "You know, if he were dead, we would be dead too, Fi," was the first thing he really said. I wasn't sure how to wrap my head around it. He stopped, knowing this one sentence was enough.

The next time he began talking about it was at a campground. We were drinking cheap beer and Sam remarked that he thought we should try to call Maddie. Then he said, "We're still alive. Michael is still alive. He's still with us." "What do you mean, Sam? He walked away. He might be alive, but we were in this together and he went solo. Again." "Fi, you really don't know what he had to do to keep us alive. I only have an idea of what these people are like. And you do too. If they put a guy like Simon on the planet, created a Victor and Carla, just think of what they threatened Mike with? Why do you think he was burned and put in Miami? He worked very hard not have ties. He broke his ties with his family, with you, even me. Now, he's got so much they can hold over his head. Boy, did they work hard to get that type of leverage. Let's make him a man with a soul and then let's threaten to take it away. Let's really make a monster out of him."

"So, in other words, you are saying that he left us to keep us together?"

"I guess that's what I believe. You know, at some point we need to make a plan. We need to see how Maddie's doing. She must be out of her mind. I need to see if I have any contacts left and you need to think about where you stand," Sam said looking out at the ocean. "What do you believe, Fi? I know he'll be back. Are you planning on being here?"

I sat there, quietly realizing that my relationship with Michael was only really starting.

Chapter 2

"I don't know what I believe, Sam. I guess I'll have to wait and see who Michael is if and when he comes back. I will tell you this though; a lot will depend on him coming back. I will wait only so long Sam."

"Fair enough. Look, I think we really need to try to get in touch with Maddie. I think that we need to make sure she's ok. Getting in touch with her could also send a message to Management. You know they are watching her."

"Agreed."

We made our way back to Miami after we gathered all of our stuff. The trip was anxious. At least a half a dozen times we thought we were being tailed. A normal trip to Key West was a three and a half-hour adventure. This trip took over six hours.

When we finally reached Maddie's house, we cased the area and found no surveillance. We knew however the house was probably bugged. I knocked on the back door and left a note asking Maddie to meet us at the Carlito.

Within 20 minutes we were sitting together at our usual table. For a long time, we talked little. Maddie told us about what the FBI had done. I knew that Michael would have taken all of them out if he knew how she had been treated. I also knew he would have blamed himself for the whole thing and he would have been right. I silently wondered if Michael would hold onto the guilt from this and learn from it or would still just brush this off his shoulder and justify it as part of the job. We talked about next moves. Should we wait? Should we make contact with our assets? Would he just show up on a doorstep like nothing had happened?

Sam decided to contact a few people he knew and see what they had heard. Maddie suggested that he sweep the Charger for bugs and use it until Michael got back. At first, Sam was taken back, but Maddie insisted, telling him that if the Charger were being used she would feel better. We decided to stop at the CVS down the street and pick up emergency phones.

Then, I left with Maddie who would drop me off at my condo. As we drove, Maddie began to talk to me about Michael. "You know Fiona, I was not a Betty Crocker type of mom. I know my flaws. Michael is who he is because of me, not his father."

"I don't think Michael would completely agree with you."

"He might not agree, but you don't have to like the truth to live with it. I have been living with it for a long time." Maddie said, "I hate the truth. I would love to live in a fairy tale. Like that I had a happy marriage. Or that the trade offs I made had no affect on my children. It would be a lie. Michael's decisions, the way he makes decisions are because of the way I made decisions. I would love to say that my decisions were selfless. They weren't. Most of them were all about me. When Michael came back, Fiona, he asked me if I ever thought of leaving Frank and I told him I had but I stayed for the family. But, I wonder if I had left Frank, who my children might have become. If they would have been different men? I just don't know. The only thing I do know is that getting old is a bitch."

A small smile came over her face. "The only time I see Michael close to happy is when he is with you. You are his one constant. You are the one thing that pushes him to his truth. For me, you are the daughter I wish I had. I want you to know that." I looked out the car window with tears in my eyes. My own mother was dear to me, but understood so little about who I was or why I made my decisions. Maddie understood all my decisions because they were so like her own. Maddie pulled up to my place and we sat silently in the car. I was almost afraid to go in. Sensing my thoughts, Maddie asked, "Do you want to go back to my place, honey?"

"No, but I would really like you to come in, Maddie. I have a bottle of Jameson's. Why don't we have a drink?"

"Now, that sounds like a plan."

**Chapter 3**

I went into the condo first. I pulled the glock from the umbrella stand next to the door. I moved swiftly through the first floor. From first glance, nothing had been touched. I checked out the second floor and all was clear. I would need to do a more thorough search for bugs later. I came out to the gated door and waved Maddie in.

"You know, I love your place, Fi. It's so you." Maddie sat at the breakfast bar.

"I like it too, Maddie. This is the longest I have lived in one place in a while. When I was planning on goin' back home, I regretted giving it up." I pulled out the Jameson's and two glasses. "Sam will be calling soon, maybe we can go out for dinner. I need the company and we need news."

"That's if we can walk after the Jameson," Maddie smiled at the shot glass. I poured the whiskey and Maddie drank it in one move. I have to say I admired this."Did you know that drinking whiskey before dinner is a sign of weakness? Sometimes I live to break rules." She held out the glass. I poured.

"I am going to have to catch up with you. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What was Michael like as a kid? I mean I get a sense, but what was he like?'

"He always had to be right. God, he was so independent. Even as a baby, He seemed to be thinking all the time. I think that really scared my husband. Here's this six-year who can out think you. He was such a smart little kid. He could read a situation and then figure out the players and work it. He had little time for fools. And as a teenager, he was arrogant. But, if I needed him, he was there. He would figure out a way to solve the issue. And he was loyal. God help the kid who ever picked on Nate. Did you know that Michael started taking martial arts lessons and paid for them? He had his black belt by the time he left for the military. He loved the discipline. I think it help him survive home."

I smiled thinking about the young Michael Westen. I wished I had known the boy. I poured myself another drink.

"Can I ask you something?" Maddie reached for the bottle and moved to the sofa.

"Sure."

"Why did you come? I mean, three years ago you show up on his doorstep I know he was probably a terrible boyfriend, so why come?"

I sat down and said, "I was his emergency contact."

Maddie looked at me in disbelief. "You were what?"

"After the Nigerian job went bad, he was dropped in a fleabag hotel. I was in New York and I got this call from the hotel manager that this guy was there and I was his emergency contact, so, I came."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No."

"Fiona, he left you without a word and he makes you his emergency contact? How did he get your number? What you must have given up to come here. "

"You know, Maddie, I never asked. I guess if he comes back, may be I will."

"All I will say to that is Michael does nothing, absolutely nothing without a reason. I would love to be a fly on the wall when you ask him and if you get the reason."

We finished off the bottle of Jameson's together. I told her she wasn't driving home and she was sleeping in my bed and I would take the sofa. She baulked a bit, but took my hand and said, "Thank you, Fiona. You know, you can judge the quality of your son's girlfriend on how she treats you when you are bombed. You're a gem." I began to cry. I put my head on her shoulder. "My son is lucky to have met you. He knows that. That's why you were his contact. You're as smart as he is. No, you're smarter because you're his soul. He couldn't lose his soul."

**Chapter 4**

The next morning, I couldn't move. My head was throbbing. The Jameson's morning after impact was fully felt. I hoped that Maddie was still alive or Michael would never forgive me. The phone's buzzing was a painful shock to my system. I angrily reached for it. "What the hell is it?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Sunshine. Are you having a sun shiny morning?" Sam sing songy voice blared through the phone, "You have Maddie, right?"

"Yeah, Sam. She's here. We polished off a bottle of Jameson's together."

"Well, that'll make for a nice little hangover. So much for the two of you helping me out."

"Get over it Sam. We needed it. You of all people should understand the medicinal purposes of alcohol."

Sam chuckled, "Been there, done that at least once a week. Look, I'm going to swing by and tell you about what I've found out, which is nothing. By the way, I have those boxes from the safe house. The realtor dropped them off at Ms. Reynolds's."

"God, I forgot about them. What time were you planning on stopping by?'

"It's 11:00 now, how about at 1:00? You and Maddie might be able to drink a Bloody Mary by then. How's that sound?"

"Fine. And Sam, thanks."

**Chapter 5 **

At the Carlito, Sam briefed us that he got no information and Maddie and I had a Bloody Mary. We started talking about the loft. I knew would have to head to there at some point. I was dreading this trip. This was Michael's home. I knew seeing it would only bring the full force of his decisions and how it affected the three of us. The mess would only symbolize how we all felt, but maybe we would find something.

And a disaster it was. It was a poor job as blown up lofts go. Why couldn't the men in my life ever blow up something completely? Half way jobs.

The FBI had been though the place as well so the mess was total. Destruction everywhere. Maddie and I surveyed the damage. Glass in every corner. The bed was over turned. Michael's chest was open and the contents were all over. His clothes were spread all over the floor of the back of the loft. He would have had a major hissy fit if he saw this. Michael could be one of the biggest neat freaks when it came to his stuff. For a guy who traveled light, since staying in Miami he had become obsessive about his things.

Sam had been downstairs appeasing Oleg. "Well, Mike owes me big. I had to pay Oleg huge money to fix the place and keep his lease in place."

"I'll cover it, Sam. He's got a running tab with me anyway. I would love to hold this over his head," I smiled. Sam winked at me knowing that I had made a decision to stay and make Michael pay. I thought that Sam might enjoy watching me torture Michael as much as I would love doing it.

"Let's fix the windows and look around. We should come back tomorrow and finish cleaning." Sam and I handled the windows and Maddie swept the place up. While Maddie was working over by the tool bench, she suddenly stopped and reached under the front legs. "Look at what I found, a cell phone under the workbench and a greeting card. Those idiot Feds missed it."

Sam and I looked like it was Christmas morning. "Awesome. Let's finish up here. I actually might have something to work with, finally," Sam said.

**Chapter 6 **

Sam began working on the cell phone and the phone number on the card as soon as he got his hot little hands on it. He took Maddie home in the Charger. She was still recovering from the hangover and looked like exhausted. I decided to go my condo and pick up some clothes. I wanted to go back to stay with Maddie. I needed to find out what Sam's intel discovered. I also found a new closeness to Maddie. She was like my mom. The nearer I got to Sam and Maddie, the closer I felt to Michael. I also didn't think that Michael would show up in the near future. Whatever plans Management had, they wouldn't let him go until they were ready. They had plans in place for Michael Westen and needed them in place. I had my own plans, too.

As I walked in the door of the condo, I nearly fell over the two boxes that Sam had dropped. I cursed him and kicked the box. I had really thought I had unpacked everything. What could I have possibility forgotten? I was annoyed. Out of impulsiveness, I ripped open the first box. Inside were toys. Little boy toys. Model planes, Star Wars figures, GI Joes, toy guns. "What the hell is this?" I wondered.

I opened the second one. On top of more toys was an envelope with my Gaelic name in Michael's handwriting. I picked up the toy pistol on top and moved to the sofa with the letter.

_**Fionnuala, **_

_**I know you are back home, getting settled. I know you can't forgive me. I have been selfish and focused on one goal. I know you think that you don't matter. That's not true. It's easy to say this is who I am. Or that this is all about protecting the people I love. I wish it were just that simple. It's not. **_

_**My mom found these in a closet. She wanted me to make a decision about keeping them. That normal people collect stuff like this. I thought she was crazy, like normal. Could you keep them for me? You are the only one I trust with them. I don't know where I will be. I know that you might want to toss them, but I hope you will hold on to them. I will pick them up eventually. **_

_**I hope you know how I feel about you. I hope you understand why I kept you as my contact. I may be the world's worst boyfriend, but I was at my best with you. **_

_**Tá mo chroí istigh ionat,**_

_** Mícheál **_

I sat there reading and rereading the letter. I would never leave him.

Translation: Tá mo chroí istigh ionat = my heart is within you

I might do more if more ideas come…enjoy!


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